Group Rhetorical Analysis of Girl Culture

(Revision is at the bottom)

Lets start with a bit of context, which many of you, expected majority of readers of my blog, won't need. The group was tasked with creating an outline of Joan Brumberg's essay, which the title was given as Essay (it is based off of Lauren Greenfield's Girl Culture photo essay.) Next, each each member was tasked with writing their own paragraph based off of a section from the outline. My section was called The domination of the "right body."

(OLD paragraph) Some girls out there are obsessed with the idea of obtaining the "ideal" body. Their pursuit of this idea often leads to issues when their body's hit puberty. Young females, when they hit puberty, start developing adipose tissue, fat, around their midsection.  Their concern comes from the idea that the best body is the slim/thin body. The build of the adipose can lead to some severe reactions. There are girls out there that develop some pretty severe eating disorders because of this; anorexia, bulimia, etc.  And, others feel the need to go to weight-loss camp in order to deal with their body. While there is nothing wrong with weight camp in general, some girls decide to go there as a reaction to their in-puberty bodies. Girls pursuit of the "right" body can lead to some severe reactions, some of which are dangerously self-destructive.

Source: https://pixabay.com/en/diet-fat-health-weight-healthy-398613/

I was also tasked with analyzing SOAPSTone (Speaker, Occasion,  Audience, Purpose, Subject, and Tone) for the above paragraph, so without further ado. For the first S, the speaker of the above paragraph is me,  although the above is based off of an essay by Brumberg, which is about Laura Greenfield's photo essay, Girl Culture. My occasion was that some girls out there are taking extreme action in pursuit of a "ideal" body.  For the audience, I tried to target young females, but I'm not sure if that is noticeable in the above. The purpose, beyond it being mandatory, was to inform the reader about the lengths that some resort to in this pursuit, and to a lesser extent persuade the reader that a build-up of adipose tissue is a natural body reaction during puberty for females.  The subject is the pursuit of the "ideal" body and the negative impact it could have. For tone, I tried to be informative. Feel free to comment below.

Here's the links to the classmates blog posts that I commented on, Katie Lista and Cati Krutilla

(Revision) Lauren Greenfield tackles the complex issues associated with girls' desire to obtain a slim body and the sometimes devastating methods employed in her photo essay Girl Culture. She shows her readers vivid imagery of desperate girls that are suffering from anorexia in order to persuade the viewers to think of the damages that today's beauty standards can cause.  Greenfield also displays a group of photos centered around overweight women in weight-loss camps. By showing how miserable these people are with their bodies, She shows the readers the effect that society's standards have on people.  She shows her readers the pain and struggles of these girls as they try to conform to the way our society has defined beauty.

A Reflection on the assignment: It was through doing this assignment that I gained some valuable insight. I learned that not every little thing doesn't need to be included. Also, if there are noticeable topic sentences than it is a good idea to include them on the outline, since they provide some very good insight on what the paragraph is about. And, when trying to recreate a paragraph(s) based on an outline, I should at times go back and re-read the original, and not just go solely off the outline. Especially, if said outline is perhaps not that good in the first place.